Paranoia

It gets harder each day
I’m running out of places to hide away
My nightmares,
They find me in my deepest sleep
I’m scared,
Can’t talk, scream or weep

They creep up on me
They whisper into my ears,
Show me my losing battles
Reconfirm my deepest fears
I tell myself they’re not real,
They tell me how my wounds wont heal
I tell myself it’s all in my head,
They tell me how my dreams are dead

I reach out and look for help
I find your hands, see a glimpse of hope
I forget the voices for a while
I feel good – nothing I can’t cope
But suddenly the hands slip away from me
And I wake up from the pleasant dream
My soul doomed to burn for eternity
When there’s hell around and hell within

FUD

Fear

The moments I prayed
would never end,
the clouds of hope
that never rained,
are hunting me now
as I say goodbye.
Coz the truth
makes living hard
and the hope
doesn’t let me die.

Uncertainty

I’m turning away
from where I want to be
I’m running away
where – I don’t clearly see
I think I’m making my choices
or they’re being made for me
I think I’m waiting for ‘the’ choice
that’ll finally set me free

Doubt

Doubts,
yours and mine
Indecisions,
and I’m running out of time
Choices,
I’m second guessing them all
Hope,
prelude to the eventual fall

Fear For Fear

The colors, the music, the people
And I’m there…
But you don’t care!
Hunting me for months…
My biggest fear!!!

For once I wanted something else to scare me,
To scare me more
Like never before

For 1.8 seconds,
After a long time
A new fear in mind,
As it should
As I had hoped it would
It felt good,
It really felt good!