The Countdown

For the past few days I was desparately trying to find some time so that I can jot down a few words here……….. and now that I got the time, all I’ve managed to do is to stare at the screen for last 4 minutes. I’m trying to start with an important event; but who is to say which event in our life is more important than any other. Before I lose the point of all this, lets start somehwere.
Lets start with the countdown. It all started when I began counting my days left at IOE for a personal interest of mine. I had started at 58, and today, when it’s 46, it has already become a new class-sensation. Pretty soon it’ll be 1 and then 0.
I have a very simple way of judging the outcome of any event; I ask myself that if this outcome was offered to me at the beginning, would I have taken it. I ask myself this today and I don’t like the answer. My life at IOE, at this point feels more like a compromise than a triumph. Actually this comes to me as a surprise too. It’s not that I’m not greatful; coz I am; it’s just that I’m not satisfied. I see some loose ends and it bothers me. I was avoiding them coz I wasn’t sure if I could face the facts. I don’t feel like I can continue like this any more.
When I leave this college I don’t want to walk away knowing there was something I could’ve done and I didn’t. I learned a long time ago that in life you regret more about the things you didn’t do rather than about the things you did. I want to walk away with memories, pictures, friendships, phone numbers, email addresses, (perhaps few people’s dotpens and scales); but no complains and regrets.
So I got 45 days – 45 days to take care of those loose ends………. 45 days to find some sort of closure or continuity………. and 45 days to create memories that will remain with me my whole lifetime.